No Movie, No Beer
by TwilightSparkle3562
Summary: Fed with Homer's punishment on Bart by not letting see the new Itchy and Scratchy movie, Marge issues an ultimatum to Homer: to let Bart see the movie or give up drinking beer for good. "Alternate Version of "Itchy and Scratchy the Movie" from Season 4.
1. No Movie, No Duff

Disclaimer: I do not own "The Simpsons" or its characters. They are property of 20th Century Fox and its affiliates.

"No Movie, No Duff"

By TwilightSparkle3562

Chapter 1

"Marge Has Had Enough"

It had been over a month since Homer punished Bart for letting Maggie drive the family car through the streets of Springfield by forbidding him from seeing the Itchy and Scratchy movie. While Marge had been siding with Homer, now she was beginning to have second thoughts. She had tried reasoning with her husband, trying to get him to lay low, but Homer was not going to listen to the point where he told the local movie theater to not sell tickets to Bart.

…

This was the last straw for Marge.

…

Fed up, Marge though there was only one way to make Homer see sense. When Homer came home from work that day, he went to the kitchen to have his daily bottle of Duff beer. But, instead he let out a shriek of terror when he saw what Marge was doing.

"Marge!" Homer screamed as he saw Marge dumping bottles of Duff Beer down the drain. "What are you doing?!"

"I'm teaching you a lesson, Homer," Marge replied, trying to concentrate on what she was doing. "Since you refuse to let Bart see the new Itchy and Scratchy movie, I refuse to let you have Duff Beer."

Homer couldn't believe what he was hearing and became angry with his wife.

"Marge, are you nuts?!" he yelled, trying to snatch a bottle away only for her to grab it. "You can't do this! I have to set an example for Bart and I am sticking to it!"

"Well, I think you have gone too far, Homer! Lisa was right, how would you feel if you were forbidden to watch the moon landing?"

"I didn't watch it, Marge! I was too busy listening to music! But that's beside the point! Stop dumping out all my beer!"

However, Marge stuck to her guns, dumping out yet another bottle.

"Marge, I mean it! Stop dumping out my beer!"

He tried to snatch a bottle out of Marge's hands, but she pulled the bottle away.

"Will you let Bart see the movie?" she asked, unscrewing a bottle.

"No! I will never let him see the movie!"

"Then say goodbye to your beer!"

She turned the bottle upside down and dumped the beer down the drain.

"Why are you even doing this, Marge? I thought we agreed we need to be tougher on Bart. He put Maggie in danger! She could have died out there driving the car around town! I mean, how would you have handled it?"

"I would have kept him away for at least a week, Homer!"

"Oh, so you want to change his punishment, huh? Well, he's my child and I will deal with the situation as I see fit! I am the head of this house and this family and what I say goes!"

"So you say that you lose another beer?" Marge remarked, dumping yet another bottle. "Well, how is this for a punishment from me to you, Homer: until you let Bart see the movie, you are forbidden to have any beer of any kind in this house."

This made Homer snarl in anger. He could believe what he was hearing, his own wife and mother to his children was treating him like a child for being a parent to his own son.

"Is that it? You are punishing me for trying to teach my son the consequences of his actions? What if he does something that puts someone in the hospital or worse, in a coffin? He needs to be disciplined, Marge!"

"And I think sometimes even the parents need to face the consequences of their actions!" Marge snapped back, this time taking an empty bottle and throwing it down on the kitchen floor smashing it into pieces. "There! How does it feel, Homer? When you ripped up Bart's ticket that he spent his own money on, he was in the same position you are in now!"

She then reached into a kitchen cabinet and pulled out a dustpan and a small broom and handed it to Homer.

"Now, you clean up this mess while I finish dumping out all of your beer. And here's an added bonus, you are also forbidden to go to Moe's until you let Bart see the movie."

Glaring at his wife, he took the dustpan and broom and angrily swept up the broken beer bottle. Homer couldn't believe what had just transpired, his own wife, his life partner and mother to his children, was treating him like a child.

…

"You know something, Marge?" he remarked.

"What, Homer?" Marge snapped as she dumped out the last of his duff beers.

"I thought as Bart's mother and my wife, you would support every bit of discipline that I administer to him. I'm trying to set a course for Bart where he ends up as a successful adult and how do you thank me? By punishing me for being a parent and taking away my privileges that I am entitled to."

He threw the dustpan and the broom in the trash and kept his glare on Marge.

"I'm 36 years old, Marge! Bart is 10! I have the authority to take away any privileges that he has! The way you are acting makes it seem like its his right to attend the movie. Well, it's a privilege and not a right!"

"Well, sometimes parenting can cross the line sometimes and you certainly have crossed it. Itchy and Scratchy is nothing more than a cartoon, all right?"

"Well, you were the one who protested the violence in that junk!"

"It's junk but he loves it, Homer. I've come to accept what Bart wants in his life, so why not you? What do you think you are going to get out of this, Homer? To see Bart retaliate against you for this? There are times when parenting goes too far, even when you strangle Bart. In fact, part of me that is what you could have done instead of this. It seems a lot more effective than what you are doing now. So, that's what is going to be happening. Until you let Bart see Itchy and Scratchy on the big screen, you are forbidden from having alcohol of any kind. End of discussion!"

Shocked and angry over being barred from his vice in life, Homer stormed out of the kitchen while Marge sighed heavily. She had to stand up for her son, despite his actions and was beginning to think back to the parent/teacher conference at Springfield elementary. All Bart's teacher wanted was to see him better disciplined, not be subjected to such parental horrors.

…

Homer went too far, there was no denying it…


	2. No Beer, Plenty of Tension

Chapter 2

"No Beer, Plenty of Tension"

Whenever he got off work, Homer would always stop at Moe's for his after work drink with his drinking buddies. But, now that he was being punished by his own wife, that wasn't going to be.

"I can't believe that Marge would do that to you," remarked Lenny as they checked out of the Nuclear Power Plant. "I mean, weren't you doing your job as a parent?"

"Hell yeah, I was guys," replied Homer, bitterly. "Bart needed to be disciplined because that is what we were told by his teacher. Or rather Marge was. But, either way, I am his father and I deal with Bart as I see fit. Tell me something guys, have you ever had seen your parent punished for being a parent?"

"Not that I am aware of, no," said Carl. "Because I mostly was well behaved for the most part. I saw the actions of other kids my age and I took what I learned from them. Take it easy though, Homer, Marge will let up."

But Homer wasn't that optimistic. Marge was sticking to her guns and there was nothing he was going to do about it.

"Well," he sighed. "Don't expect me to show up at Moe's later until I let Bart see the movie."

"When will that be?"

"How the hell should I know?" Homer asked and giving his best friends one last look, he got in his car and drove home.

…

Meanwhile, Lisa noticed the tension that Marge had in her eyes and was beginning to see that her behavior towards her father was somewhat ridiculous.

"Look Mom," Lisa remarked as she watched her mom cook dinner. "I know we both feel bad for Bart, but did you think that forbidding Dad from drinking beer was the right call?"

"Lisa, you know sometimes your father can go too far on your brother. I stood by his decision initially, but now I feel something needs to be done. If Bart can't see the movie, then he can't drink beer, end of story."

"I hate to tell you this, but dad does have the right as do you to punish Bart. Remember when he threw my Thanksgiving centerpiece into the fire?"

"That was different, Lisa," Marge said, turning away from what she was doing. "Both of us were angry at Bart because he hurt you and ruined thanksgiving. The punishment we imposed, while harsh, was fair. This time around, it's just plan harsh. Personally, I would have just preferred to see your father strangle him, even though its not as effective."

"Exactly what I was trying to tell dad. I tried to put him in Bart's shoes, but he refused to listen. Bart may have put Maggie in danger, but even he doesn't deserve this."

Just then, the door opened and in stepped Homer heading towards the refrigerator and pulling a bottle of water. Seeing her father was in the kitchen, Lisa stepped out of the kitchen.

"Oh, hello Marge," said Homer bitterly looking at his wife. "Take a look, I'm drinking water. You happy now because I can't drink beer until I let Bart see the Itchy and Scratchy movie?"

"Maybe by being forbidden from drinking beer, you can become a better person."

"Hardy har har."

"I'm dead serious, Homer. You went too far with punishing Bart, even though you may not believe it. Bart is what he is and you can't seem to accept it."

Homer decided at that moment that he had enough of his wife's criticism of his parenting skills and left the kitchen. There he saw Bart, sitting at the edge of the window, looking out and feeling depressed. But it wasn't going to change his mind, Homer stuck to his guns and instead walked up the stairs with the bottle of water in his hand.

Stepping out of the kitchen, Marge looked over towards Bart and felt nothing but pity for him. So much went through Marge's mind at that moment on whether or not she made a mistake by standing by Homer when he laid down the law.

"Bart, I'm going to do everything I can to get your father to change his mind," she thought to herself. "He's gone too far with punishing you, but he doesn't see it because…he's so pigheaded and set in his ways."

Upstairs, Homer sat in his bedroom and just laid in bed drinking the bottle of water.

"Why would you do this to me, Marge?" he thought to himself. "What's wrong with laying down a little discipline, hmm? Do you want Bart to become successful or not? I told him he would thank me for this and how do you support my decision? By turning your back on me and retaliating against me by taking away my privileges like I am a child? Okay, we'll play this little game you want to play, and you will see that I did nothing wrong."

…

For three days, the tension between him and Marge continued and Homer still stood his ground on Bart. One day, Homer was desperate for a drink and went to the Kwiki Mart for a bottle of beer. When he returned home, Marge saw him with the drink and snatched it from him.

"I warned you, Homer, no movie, no beer!" she cried, snatching the beer and dumping it into the sink. "Have you decided on letting up?"

"No, I haven't."

"Then the punishment stands against you, Homer and I don't want to see this in here again. Because if you do, I'll break this bottle over your head."

"Oh, planning to get physical with me, huh? I don't know what's gotten into, Marge, but it stops right now."

"No it doesn't, Homer. Not until you change your mind about Bart seeing the movie. Oh, and here is another bonus. You are to be the one to take him to the movie and thus, get your drinking privileges back. The decision is yours!"

Homer watched as Marge threw his empty duff bottle in the trash. By this point, Homer's desperation for a beer was beginning to get to him and there was no denying the fact that he was going to cave into Marge's demands, despite his intentions to not cave in.

Days would go by until the final week of Itchy and Scratchy's run dawned on Springfield…


	3. Final Week of Showings

Chapter 3

"Final Week of Showings"

The final week of Itchy and Scratchy's movie run had come to Springfield and Homer was still holding onto his guns in regards to Bart's punishment. However, his thirst for beer continued to grow and with each passing day, the more desperate he became for a sip of liquor. At the same time, he was beginning to understand what Bart was going through.

On the Sunday after church, Homer decided to pay a visit to Reverend Lovejoy to explain the situation.

"Look, Reverend, I know this is kind of awkward coming to you on Sunday and all," he said as he sat in Reverend Lovejoy's office. "But, I need your help on something."

"Well, that explains why you weren't sleeping in church like you normally do," Lovejoy remarked as he hung up his religious vestments and sat down in front of Homer. "What seems to be the trouble?"

"Reverend," Homer began, trying to find the words to explain the situation. "Have you ever been punished for disciplining your children?"

"In what way is that?"

"Like, you forbid someone from taking part in something they've longed to do to teach them a lesson and your spouse or whoever decides to punish you too? That's exactly what happened to me."

"Can't say that I have, Homer. Go on."

"Bart's teacher told us to start being tougher on him and he screwed up while watching Maggie. So, I gave him the punishment by forbidding him from ever seeing the new cat and mouse movie. Marge sided with me and after a while, she took Bart's side and said that I was going too far. Well, I dug in my heels and do you know what she does? She dumps out all of my beer down the drain and says I can't drink any beer of any kind until I let Bart see the movie."

Listening in, Lovejoy absorbed what he heard and sat back in his chair.

"So that's what she did, hmm? As a father myself, I understand that child discipline is crucial in making them successful adults. But, there are consequences to our actions and unfortunately, in your case, I agree with Marge on her decision."

"You can't be serious, Reverend?"

"I am serious, Homer. I'm afraid that you have indeed crossed the line. A simple spanking would have been much more effective."

"But then Bart would have just done it again," protested Homer. "Even if I choked him, he still would have done it. Why do I have to be the bad guy here when this is all part of being a parent? I've punished Bart lots of times and…"

But Homer was silenced by Lovejoy's left hand being put into his face.

"Hold it, Homer. I think I can understand why Marge did what she did. She wants you to feel what Bart is feeling, to be denied of something you love to do. If you deny Bart of seeing the Itchy and Scratchy movie, then she denies you of alcohol, end of story. In other words, she's trying to put you in Bart's shoes."

Looking up to the ceiling, Homer let out a deep sigh of frustration, not believing what was being spoken to him.

"Reverend, I…I get what you are saying, but…"

"But what?"

"As much of a bum as I am, children need to be taught right from wrong. Seeing the movie was Bart's privilege, not his right that he was entitled to."

"It's a privilege, yes. But there are psychological consequences to denying someone of their privileges. In fact, let's pretend this scenario. You do something stupid and are forbidden from ever seeing your dying relative, someone that you were very close with. How would you feel?"

"I would feel terrible, Reverend, to the point where I would never forgive the one who forbade me from saying goodbye. But, it's just a movie and it's not like…"

"Now hold on, Homer. I'm trying to show you that the movie that Bart wants to see is like a dying relative. Itchy and Scratchy, as stupid and as violent as it seems, will not be on the big screen forever. Once it's gone, it's gone like a dying person. Marge wants you to experience the same kind of similar feeling with being denied the privilege of drinking alcohol."

"Then, what do you want me to do?" asked Homer, realizing that he was going to hear something that he wasn't going to like hearing.

"I'm going to give you an order, Homer," said Reverend Lovejoy. "I'd like you to take Bart and see the new Itchy and Scratchy movie at the next possible opportunity."

Homer's eyes widened upon hearing this and rose to his feet in shock.

"But, but Reverend…"

"Don't 'but Reverend' me, Homer," interrupted Reverend Lovejoy. "I'm having you do this for not just your own benefit, but Bart's as well. Forcing punishments such as this will not make Bart successful in life. Marge realized that, so why not you?"

Without saying a word, Homer got up from the chair and made his way out of Lovejoy's office. He still wouldn't speak as he drove home from church, trying to process everything that had been spoken to him.

"Why is this the answer?" Homer thought to himself as he drove home. "To just let Bart see the movie after all? I really wish that there was another way around all of this. Children have to be disciplined, but maybe somehow Lovejoy is right, I might have gone too far this time. Personally, I would do anything to start drinking beer again."

Arriving at his home, Homer got out and walked into the house where he saw Bart sitting on the couch reading the novel version of the Itchy and Scratchy movie.

"Bart?" Homer asked, catching his oldest son's attention. "I need to talk to you."

"What do you want, Homer?" Bart asked snappily keeping his eyes on the book. "Hand me down another punishment?"

"Look boy," he sighed, sitting next to Bart. "I know I forbade you from ever seeing the Itchy and Scratchy movie, but I've changed my mind."

"What do you mean?"

"I'd like to take you to see the movie after all."

Bart was surprised to hear this to the point where he took his attention off of the novel and focused all of it onto his father.

"Really? You mean it?"

"Yeah, I went too far in punishing you, Bart. Perhaps a simple choking would have made you see sense."

"You aren't doing this to get your beer privileges back, right?"

"Why you little…!"

And Homer gave Bart his signature strangulation as Marge watched from the kitchen, relieved that Homer finally learned his lesson after all.

Still, there was the matter of seeing the movie itself…


	4. Seeing the Movie at Last

Chapter 4

"Seeing the Movie at Last"

On the day that he agreed to take Bart to see the new "Itchy and Scratchy" movie, Homer was feeling very reluctant. Part of him felt that he had failed as a parent by letting his guard down. He had enforced a punishment that in his mind hoped would make Bart change his ways, but it caused him more harm than good.

"Homer, I hope you understand that this is the best for both of you," Marge said in their bedroom on the morning of seeing the movie. "I know Bart may be a little smart ass to both of us, because even I feel that way, but even I know when I have crossed the line in disciplining him."

"Well, you did cross the line by betraying me and dumping out all of my beer that I spent my hard earned money on…"

However a glare from Marge's eyes prevented Homer from finishing his sentence.

"Because, like I said before, I wanted nothing more than to put you in Bart's shoes," Marge interrupted and placing a hand on Homer's shoulder. "Making you feel what it feels likes. It's something Lisa tried to tell you about being forbidden from watching the moon landing that gave me the idea."

"Honey," Homer sighed, sitting at the edge of his bed. "I've got a confession to make. I was listening to music that day. I had no interest in the moon landing at all. But, that's beside the point. All I did was try to man up and teach Bart a lesson so that he doesn't do something like this again. Sadly, all this is doing to me is making me a bad parent, seeming like I have no backbone whatsoever."

"You do have a backbone, Homer," Marge replied, sitting next to him. "We all have backbones. It's a part of who we are. But sometimes even we need to understand when the backbone needs to bend a little. You bent Bart's backbone when you ripped up his hard-earned movie ticket and I bent your backbone when I dumped all of your hard-earned beer down the drain."

Homer realized that Marge was right. He did have a backbone that was bent by his own doing. In his mind, everything that Bart's teacher said was true. Bart needed direction, Bart needed discipline in order to become a successful adult, but it was how he handled it that put him in the situation he was in.

"I...I... okay, I get what you are saying, Marge," Homer sighed. "I did bend Bart's backbone, but I was only doing it to teach him a lesson for putting Maggie in danger. Personally, now that you mentioned it, I wish I could have gone back to that moment and just strangled Bart like I always do, but I can't. In fact, I couldn't help but do a lot of thinking."

"What kind of thinking?"

"That when we discipline our kids, we sometimes don't think of the consequences we are also imposing on them. Maybe I need to learn how to discipline Bart without being so forceful on him. I mean, I too, want Bart to be Chief Justice of the Supreme Court or something successful like that."

"He doesn't have to be Justice of the Supreme Court, but that is beside the point. What I am trying to say is that you can still learn those techniques, Homer. There is still time, but you are also learning that…"

"I know what you are saying, Marge. I've heard it from the Reverend Lovejoy and now I'm hearing it from you. Although, perhaps maybe I should also learn that I can't let certain things get to my head. I punished Bart so I can stretch my ego as a perfect father."

"And you can't let that happen, Homer. Bart's just a young boy with his whole life ahead of him. Bart's teacher was right on us being more tough on Bart, but underneath all that toughness, there is a little person inside of us telling us what is right and what is wrong. I listened to that little person inside of me, but you didn't. Tell me, what is that little person inside of you telling you now?"

"To let go of my pride and take Bart to see the movie right?" Homer guessed and Marge nodded in reply that he had guessed correctly. "And maybe get my beer privileges back?"

"Yes and after you both see the movie, you can start drinking beer again."

…

Sure enough, Homer and Bart went to the movies that day and finally saw the Itchy and Scratchy movie together. Homer was delighted to see the happiness in Bart's eyes at seeing his favorite cartoon characters on the screen. Once again, he felt himself in Bart's shoes.

"Perhaps Marge was right," he thought to himself as they watched the craziness unfold on the big screen. "The way Bart feels about seeing this movie is how I felt about drinking. It's a sanctuary for both of us and we were both denied that sanctuary."

…

When they returned home that afternoon from seeing the Itchy and Scratchy movie, Homer went to the fridge and inside was a new pack of Duff Beer that hadn't been dumped out by Marge and for the first time in a while, Homer sat on the couch and drank his sanctuary. Later, he made his way over to Moe's and sat with all his drinking buddies.

"Hey Homer, longtime no see," remarked Moe, the Bartender.

"Marge let you have beer again?" asked Lenny.

"Yeah, but I guess I learned something today," answered Homer as he sat at the bar in his usual spot. "Of what it feels like to have something you love taken away when you can't control your ego."

"Well, it's good to hear you got it back, Homer," said Carl as Barney let out a celebratory belch.

"Thanks guys."

…

THE END


End file.
